Captain’s Log, 13th Yoolian, 2614
“The Invincible VII is lost. Crashed, somewhere on the planet Dunromin, near to the great city of Stone Masoon. All hands escaped safely, thanks to the quick thinking and brave actions of the ship’s captain. That’s me. Spoddy Shlumbuck Jnr, GalactiCorps Captain First Class. I have ensured that not only were my crew saved from certain peril, but also the Pangalactic Cribbage Cup was saved from obliteration. The cup stands as a shining beacon in the darkness, a symbol of hope for the entire Sqishy Galaxy.
“There’s just one snag…
“As I exited the ship in the most daring fashion imaginable, I saw the warning light flashing for the quantum reactor core. The ship’s computer, B.A.B.S, was unable to shut down the reactor core before the crash, as chief engineer Lucky McDougal had forgotten to plug her in to the engineering mainframe. Now the Invincible VII has crash-landed less than a mile outside Stone Masoon, and unless someone can manually switch off the reactor core, the resultant implosion could destroy the entire galaxy, creating the largest black hole in the universe. Of course, I can’t do it, as I have to defend my cribbage title—the morale of the good people of the Sqishy Galaxy must come first! And so it falls to Lucky McDougal to clear up his own mess.
“He’s never been my first choice. Nor even my second. But by the stars, he’s definitely my third, and he knows that ship at least half as well as he ought to. Besides, he’s already out of the tournament, so no-one will miss him. Therefore, the fate of the galaxy rests in the hands of Lucky McDougal.
“Actually, there is one other snag. It seems that Tiddles the Spidercat is still on board the Invincible. As my lifepod left the ship, I saw his six little red eyes staring after me through the airlock porthole. Poor little fella… if he’s still on the ship, who knows what adventures he’s had! Most importantly, he’s my lucky mascot, so McDougal had better find the weird little furball.
“But these setbacks are all in the line of duty for me. Rest assured, I will ensure the safety of the Sqishy Galaxy. I will never lose sight of what’s important. I will—
“What? Oh, it’s my turn already? Great. Let’s play cribbage!”